I had a conversation today with a friend and she told me of the hurts that she has in her heart. She lost a brother, whom she was very close too, last year and she is still suffering through the pain. She feels the pain daily and some how she blames herself for it. Maybe she should have done this or that or changed the way she did that, and if she did not go to work and stayed with him maybe he would still be here. She drags herself through the mud daily and it hurts my heart.
I have thought about that alot today and the things that I could have said and didn't, the comfort that I could have given and didn't. I told her that I loved her and would pray for her, but it seems like I failed her, and more importantly failed Him. I let a chance to tell someone about Jesus pass me by. I invite her to church and encourage her to come, but I had the chance to tell her about the wonderful Peace that only Jesus can give.
That sweet Peace that Jesus gave me on the day of her brother's funeral. We left the service and I was feeling so unsettled in my heart. The service was Catholic, the religion that they were raised, and it was different and sad. I talked to Jesse about her brothers Salvation and how I prayed that dead religion had not kept him from Heaven. I wept for a person who had a broken body in this life, and thought what if he was lost, he will never have a new body, he will never run and praise God, and fall at the feet of Jesus and worship Him.
I wept for a soul that I can no longer reach but I do not weep enough for the ones that I can witness too everyday. Please pray that I will be a light for Him in a lost and dying world, I want so badly to shine for Jesus, but fears and anxiety keep me from being the Christian I could be. Pray Pray Pray for me!
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Biblical Pastoral Authority
1 year ago
4 comments:
Amy,
This honestly made me cry. I completely understand. I get held back by so much..so many doors are opened for me to tell people about Jesus. Sadly I never say anything because I'm scared of what people will say. I pray that I won't do that anymore. It hurts me to see them hurt, knowing what could fix it all.
Just keep praying girl..I'm sure you know they work.
My best friend has been agnostic since we were in the 7th grade. Depressed and whatnot. I prayed years and years for her and you know what? She just one day was not depressed she was happy and stopped worrying about things she couldn't change and was living for the future. So I thanked God for that and prayed even harder that he would save her. You know, He hasn't saved her yet..but she comes to church now.. sits beside me every sunday. He'll save her. I know he will.
I know how you feel. I seem to let so many chance to tell others about him slip by because of my fear of there responce, or that they might ask a question that I can't anwser. My biggest fear is telling my family. I have failed him so many times when he has opened a door for me to witness to them. Pray for me and I will pray for you, I love you!
I saw that my name showed up with a post . I deleted it, I must have posted in another life. I honestly don't remember posting that. Sorry!!! I find myself going over conversations after they are over and done with and wishing I had said this or not said that,also. You would think after serving the Lord for years that I would be getting better at this. But I feel like many times that I take one stop forward and two backwards. But I am glad that He is still working on me, and is my stronghold and that He can teach us as we go along lifes way and that He is so patient and forgiving. OH, What a Saviour I Have!!!!
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